Keep your words focused on the specifics, and you’ll see how it helps students.
It was a spring day and I was running a behaviour support group with Year 2 children, in an inner city London Primary school. We were approaching SAT’s summer tests, and my role was to advance these children’s writing skills.
Paul had spent the last five minutes out of his seat, distracting others and was having difficulty settling. As he returned to his desk, he put pen to paper and like a mad woman, I leaped across the room and stuck a sticker on his shirt, saying “well done for starting your story!”
That single episode of praise turned the rest of our lesson around and as he was lining up, he commented, “Mrs Hoyle, didn’t I do well today, look I’ve written a whole page.” As he showed me his work, another child commented how well he had done and how interesting his story was.
What a wonderful end to our session and proof that catching that one small moment can lead to a real shift in a child’s attitude and ability to engage and learn; what’s more, what followed was self praise and peer praise, which, as you know, is far more powerful than any praise a teacher could give.
The advantages of praise
Whilst some believe that praise can be manipulative, which of course it can, largely it can be seen to have a dramatic positive impact on relationships and can be extremely enabling and supportive. It is also contagious and many schools and organisations that adopt such a culture improve morale and relationships, increase wellbeing and self esteem, enhance kindness and cooperation, improve productivity and in general, achieve better results and that’s not just with the students.
Creating a culture of affirmation also helps build trust; if you have looked for the good first and have built a positive relationship with a student, when a mistake occurs or a child proves particularly challenging, you can redirect the energy for a more positive outcome, as the song by Johnny Mercer goes “accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative.”
The disadvantages of praise
The disadvantages, of course, include over use of praise — inconsistent, non genuine, insincere and manipulative praise. Some believe that praise is usually only given to a child when a task or deed is completed or is well done and prefer to use the term encouragement, which refers to a positive acknowledgment response that focuses on the student’s effort or specific attributes of work completed. They worry that praise, such as “Terrific job,” or “You draw beautifully,” places judgement on a student’s work or gives information regarding its value or implications of student status.
In Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman’s latest book, Nurtureshock, they look at many of modern society’s strategies for raising children, including the way we praise our children and point out that how and what we are praising children for can, at times, be detrimental to their wellbeing. Bronson cites the work of Carol Dweck, a Stanford professor, who has proven, in a growing body of work dating back 15 years, that praising a child for their intelligence can cause the opposite result. It didn’t prevent underperforming: It could actually cause it.
So what can we conclude from this?
Obviously how we praise our child is essential to their emotional wellbeing and success. Below are seven steps to support you with this:
Effectively and powerfully praise your children
1. Keep your praise specific and genuine
Considered use of genuine and specific praise is a key theme in the programme I run in schools: The Turn a Round Programme. A child needs to know exactly what he/she did to earn that praise (and then can get more).
For example, “You have consistently used full stops and capital letters in your story; you must be pleased with yourself.” “You are always so cheerful in the morning.”
Don’t use generalised praise: Well done, great, terrific, awesome.
2. Use “you” not “I” and engage in discussion
When you praise, remember that the encouragement you are giving is for the child. When you say “I” love your work, the focus is on you and what you think, as opposed to the child.
Try to use “you” statements such as “you have worked so hard; tell me what you have done…….. You must be very proud of yourself.” This statement also engages the child in discussion and rather than using evaluative praise and having a brief interaction, you are more able to spend some quality time listening to that child.
3. YOU – Your Own Uniqueness
Praise them for who they are being as well as their accomplishments.
We all need to know that who we are is OK, that we are good enough, liked and loved enough for just being ourselves. Praise that acknowledges us as individuals and for our strengths and personal qualities is the most powerful. For example: “You are so kind, Amira, I saw you letting others in to play your game at playtime.”
4. Be realistic, sincere and honest
Children have an uncanny knack for knowing if they have truly earned your acclaim or if you are manipulating them. Unrealistic praise can also create self doubt and disappointment.
Carol Dweck’s research proves that it’s important to praise children for their effort, just not their intelligence.
5. Rewards and encouragers for specific pieces of work, positive behaviours and achievements
I love rewards that are specific. Stickers and certificates and great, as long as they tell the child and anyone reading them exactly what they have done to earn them.
I often make my own, though there are a lot of excellent ones on the market.
- I am a great speller
- I was a good friend in the playground
- I was kind today
- I can recognise numbers to 20
Don’t: Use the generalised stickers and certificates that just say well done, terrific, etc.
When a child wears a sticker which is specific, everywhere they go people often make positive comments and are curious to know what they did to earn it. For instance if a teacher gives Jodie a sticker for being a kind friend in the playground, when she walks up the corridor a teaching assistant may make a positive comment about her behaviour as a result of the sticker. Likewise when Mum picks her up she may say, “wow, you’ve been a kind friend today.” They then could stop off at the corner shop and the man behind the counter also comments on her sticker. They go to see Grandma and she comments. By the end of the day that child could have had 10 people comment on her kindness, thus reinforcing a positive behaviour.
I would encourage schools to have a baseline and ceiling for incentives that all teachers and teaching assistants can give out. For instance everyone could have 10 stickers that need to be given out over the week. Difficulties and inconsistencies arrive when some teachers give out lots of encouragement and some give out none. Children then learn who to go to to get them.
6. Look for the GOOD – How to redirect the energy for a more productive outcome
As I travel around the country working in schools I see amazing teachers looking for the good in their students. Assemblies are a classic time when principals, faced with 300 children in a hall, regularly spot those who are sitting quietly and use them as examples, only to find how contagious and effective the praise of one child can be.
I regularly use proximity praise when I am teaching and especially when I am working with challenging students.
A few years ago I was running a Circle Time training day in Ireland. In the afternoon I was to model a circle time with a group of challenging Year 7 boys. As the boys arrived in the room, some headed for the circle of chairs and sat down as I had asked, then a small group started to dance in the centre and run round wildly. It is every teacher and trainer’s dread – complete mayhem and it was also an opportunity to see if I could practise what I preach. As one boy sat down, I grabbed the opportunity to say, “well done for sitting down and looking at me, you have a lovely listening body.” (I can be nauseatingly positive!).
Luckily another sat down, I continued praising the few children I could and slowly but surely I ended up with the whole class seated. To this day I still think it was a miracle; however it just confirmed to me, yet again, that praise works.
Additionally when redirecting negative behaviour or correcting children’s work, tell children what you want them to do as opposed to telling them what not to do. For instance, “can you please come and sit down on the chairs” as opposed to “don’t run in the classroom.”
7. Encourage children to praise themselves and each other Smiley faces
During the week, encourage children to put smiley faces on work that they are proud of. I suggest that children can give themselves five smiley faces a week for work or behaviours they are proud of.
On Friday they can select one piece of work or behaviour and in a short circle time they can say: “I am pleased with myself because…” and show their picture or piece of work.
Circle Times – Endorse and Energise
At the end of a circle time I encourage children to genuinely praise and affirm one another and develop a vocabulary of encouragement and acknowledgement. As a teacher I say “Is there anyone in this class you are pleased with today.” I am then specific, for instance I might say “for being a good friend, for working hard and concentrating,” etc.
Children then raise their hands. If they are chosen, they cross the circle and stand in front
of a peer and say such things as:
- Thank you
- You are someone who……
- I’m pleased with you because
The child receiving the praise then says “thank you.”
The delight on the receiver’s and the giver’s face is always heart warming. Children have an intrinsic desire to learn, and all children want to do well. Effective praise, which encourages students, creates an environment where children can thrive and achieve their full potential.
